[Intro] D

D                    C
There once was a man who just couldn't cry
G                                    D
He hadn't cried for years and for years
                                    C
Napalmed babies and the movie "Love Story"
G                                 D
For instance could not produce tears
          A           G                 D
As a child he had cried as all children will
             C                          G
Then at some point his tear ducts ran dry
                   D                  C
He grew to be a man, it all hit the fan
G                                  D
Things got bad, but he couldn't cry

                     C                         G
His dog was run over, his wife up and left him
                                          D
And after that he got sacked from his job
                       C                          
G
Lost his arm in the war, was laughed at by a whore
                                  D
Ah, but sill not a sniffle or sob
      A          G                   D
His novel was refused, his movie was panned
C                                 G
 And his big Broadway show was a flop
D                        C                        G
He got sent off to jail;  you guessed it, no bail 
                               D
Oh, but still not a dribble or drop
D                     C                     G
In jail he was beaten, bullied and buggered
                         D
And made to make license plates
D              C                   G
Water and bread was all he was fed
                                      D   
But not once did a tear stain his face
                     C              G    D
Doctors were called in, scientists, too
     C                                 G     D
Theologians were last and practically least
                             C                            G
They all agreed sure enough;  this was sure no cream puff
                            D
But in fact an insensitive beast
                      C                        G
He was taken from jail and placed in a place
                                D
For the insensitive and the insane
                         C                         G
He made a lot of friends, and played lots of chess

                                      D
And he cried every time it would rain
         A             G                       D
Once it rained forty days and it rained forty nights
         C                                       G
And he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried
                    D  C                G
On the forty-first day, he passed away
                           D
He just dehydrated and died

                           C                G
Well, he went up to heaven, located his dog
                               D
After that, he rejoined his arm
                       C                      G
Below, all the critics, they Took it all back
                                     D
Cancer robbed the whore of her charm
     A                G                                  D
His ex-wife died of stretch marks, his ex-employer went broke
         C                         G
The theologians were finally found out
                         D                             C    G
Right down to the ground, that old jail house burned down
                                   D
The earth suffered perpetual drought