D
 
                      C                    
 There once was a man who just couldn't cry
 G                                    D 
 He hadn't cried for years and for years
                                     C     
 Napalmed babies and the movie "Love Story"
 G                                 D 
 For instance could not produce tears
           A           G                 D   
 As a child he had cried as all children will
              C                          D
 Then at some point his tear ducts ran dry
                    C                   
 He grew to be a man, it all hit the fan
 G                                  D
 Things got bad, but he couldn't cry

                       C
 His dog was run over, his wife up and left him
 G                                      D
 And after that he got sacked from his job
                                              C
 Lost his arm in the war, was laughed at by a whore
 G                               D
 Ah, but sill not a sniffle or sob
          A             G             D
 His novel was refused, his movie was panned
             C                      D
 And his big Broadway show was a flop
                        C
 He got sent off to jail;  you guessed it, no bail
 G                                  D
 Oh, but still not a dribble or drop

                        C
 In jail he was beaten, bullied and buggered
 G                            D
 And made to make license plates
                                C
 Water and bread was all he was fed
 G                                   D
 But not once did a tear stain his face
             A           G           D
 Doctors were called in, scientists, too
             C                             D
 Theologians were last and practically least
                            C
 They all agreed sure enough; this was sure no cream puff
 G                              D
 But in fact an insensitive beast

                          C
 He was removed from jail and placed in a place
 G                               D
 For the insensitive and the insane
                                              C
 He made a lot of friends and played a lot of chess
 G                                 D
 And he wept every time it would rain
               A           G                   D
 Once it rained forty days and it rained forty nights
              C                                    D
 And he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried
                       C
 On the forty-first day, he passed away
 G                         D
 He just dehydrated and died

                           C
 Well, he went up to heaven, located his dog
 G                                   D
 Not only that, but he rejoined his arm
                                               C
 Down below, all the critics, they loot it all back
 G                                 D
 Cancer robbed the whore of her charm
            A                     G                      D
 His ex-wife died of stretch marks, his ex-employer went broke
                C                     D
 The theologians were finally found out
                         C
 Right down to the ground, that old jail house burned down
 G                                  D
 The earth suffered perpetual drought